Why to care what others think?

Everyone on this planet cares for at least one person’s opinion like their favorite writer, teacher, YouTuber, or someone they admire.

The difference is in the number of people whose opinion matters. 

Some care for a few and some care for everyone.

The real questions are that:

- Why should I care for others' opinion?

- What is in it for me?

- And how do I understand that it’s not the opinion that is the issue?

Today the world we live in is spending more money on physical appearances rather than knowing who we are and accepting our realities.

The never-ending pursuit of happiness is a new notion. We always want to be happy, but think of a person who is always happy but don't think of a circus clown.

Permanent happiness is like a drug and if we always want to be happy then we are like a drug addict, always high and running away from our emotions.

Why don’t we sit with our emotions after all they are a part of us? Rather we start trying to feel happy, like eating sugar.

In society being sad is treated as a disease. As soon as we see our close one sad, we immediately try to make them feel happy trying to make that disease go away.

It’s just a reflection of how we treat our emotions is the same way we treat others. Even when someone dies we are expected to be sad for a while and if we are sad for a long while, it’s considered something’s wrong with us.

Trying to be always happy is like trying to be perfect.

Perfection is a flaw. Suppose if I am not perfect then I am afraid that people will know my flaws or people will find out mistakes in my work and hence they will not like me.

A lot of people spend their whole life just being perfect but don’t think of Monica Bing from Friends. It’s a fictional character and whatsoever she does her mom points out mistakes in her work.

Similarly, the opinions that remind us of our flaws remind us of the fact that there is something wrong with us, hence we won’t be accepted.

As a survival instinct of the brain, it always avoids the opinions that remind one of its flaws and hence the birth of “I don’t care” dilemma.

But really if someone is pointing out a mistake or even rejecting, like in an interview, it is a particular trait that is pointed out or the skillset rejected rather we take it personally, as we were rejected as a whole human being.

Why do other's opinions define the quality of your day and how to look at it another way round?

Think you are sailing in a boat and the opinions are like a wave of the sea. The boats naturally tendency is to go up and down with the waves but the more centered you are in your boat the smoother the journey will be.

We cannot control the sea but we can control the things inside us.

Imagine Dalai Lama reacting to some comment about him. We can’t imagine that because that person knows him really well.

When we are centered in our reality then we understand our emotions and validate that it’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to sad for a long while until we feel that we have understood that emotion.

Think next time your best friend will be sad, rather making him/her feel happy instantly, you sit with them, understand why are they feeling sad, let them understand that emotion and then validate that feeling by probably saying “I understand and anyone would feel sad in this situation”.

When we can understand our emotions and validate them, then we no longer see the opinions as good or bad rather a perception of looking at the world.

Everyone has a different perception of the world. For example, you are in a room and I ask you to observe all the pink things in the room? Now I ask to observe all the blue things? The difference of observation after these two questions is that you see a room full of pink or blue things. But you miss out on all the other colors of the room. Similarly what we think is what we observe is a partial image. For example, the glass is half empty or half full?

 And listening to other people brings in that remaining perception. Also, a good way to widen the perception is to read books.

So when we are connected with our emotions and validate them by ourselves, then we wouldn’t think of opinions as good or bad rather than another perspective of looking at life.

But the moment I say that “I don’t care what others think” I have denied myself from looking at the world from another perception. Now it is also the birth of I.

There is no more we, it’s just my and other perceptions.

What is in it for you?

As we discussed above that whatever we do will always be perceived differently by different people.  But when that perception comes back in the form of opinion, its feedback telling how that message was perceived.

Saying “I don’t care what others think” creates an imaginary the partition between you and the person giving that feedback and seen as whatever you say I’m not listening.

Imagine the CEO of a big company saying “I don’t care what people think”. LOL. Would you like to be associated with their service or product of this company?

Think of yourself as a company and you are the CEO, be the CEO who takes those opinions as feedback, and considers them as potential opportunities to improve the company.

There is a difference between accepting blindly what is being said and sincerely listening and understanding if it is true.

If you are accepting blindly it means that either you care about the other person’s opinion or you are just agreeing for the sake of agreeing.

In the second case, you would never say “I don’t care” rather understand what made them feel that way. Again same as validating your emotions, you understand what made them feel that way.

Even after you are connected to your emotions and know yourself, you may feel sad or hurt from someone’s opinion that means there is an emotional wound that hasn’t been healed yet. Hence another opportunity for you to know yourself and improve your company.

This is all coming from the opinions of people, it’s like free feedback and you are the best person to decide what is valid and what needs to be improved to make your company best.

Every person on this planet cares for at least one person’s opinion and ask yourself honestly, who is that person?

Now time for a bigger picture!

Let’s go deeper and into the future.

In the evolution of humans consciousness has been a major development.

What is consciousness, ever experienced yourself listening to your thoughts? Consciousness is being aware of what is happening in your body and mind.

As humans, the next evolution is that we all are connected to one higher consciousness.

Like all machines connected via the internet.

In this concept of one higher consciousness, there is no concept of I.

It’s only we. One.

And If I’m saying that “I don’t care what others think” which means I am not connected to myself really well.

That means I am separate from my own consciousness hence separate from higher consciousness.

Now there is no we and it is I and others.

My thoughts are separate from others.

Being conscious is to accept the reality of you and who one is

There are good and bad in everyone.

But who defined good and bad? My thoughts

A cat eats a bird and a dog eats cat.

Who is good and bad?

Is cat bad, dog bad, or bird good?

It’s my thought that labels them as good and bad.

Again the world we see may not be what it is because we see a partial image based on our thoughts.

The remaining image comes from others who see it from their viewpoint. If all these are combined then there are 7 billion possible scenarios of looking at a particular thing.

 Hence a more complete picture than an individual's reality.

When we are saying “I don’t care about what others think”, we have denied ourself from the remaining perception of the world.